“We tend to judge others by their behavior, and ourselves by our intentions.“
Heck, 80% of women admit they occasionally tell “harmless half-truths.”
But when it comes to judging others about the behaviors they display, we do so without taking into account our own behavior.
The next time you feel yourself compelled to judge someone I implore you to take a deep breath and look back at your own behavior. It’s not going to change what anyone else has done, but it might change the way you see and/or feel about that behavior, or even that person.
If it’s about something small, find a way to let it go. How many times have you presented the almost-but-not-quite as the truth? And why do we do this? Speaking for myself, insecurity and fear.
If it’s about something big, dig deeper to understand why one might tell a lie like that. Speaking again from my own experience:
- fear – when I was a kid I made up stories about why I was late for fear of consequences: if I could make it not my fault, I might escape punishment by my mom
- hiding a different truth or reality (also fear)- I lied about having a brother with cancer when i was in middle school because I desperately needed attention but felt ashamed to admit that I was being molested by my mom’s boyfriend
Really, the big lies boil down to fear. So when someone is telling a big lie, remember they’re afraid of something bigger than the lie they’re telling. Also remember it’s not about you.
So maybe it’s time to skip the judgment, offer some grace and compassion, and save judgment for another day.