Authenticity and Reality, Shadows and Light

by Dian Reid-Jancic· Follow Dian on

I sat down to watch Julie Daley‘s TEDxIsfeldWomen Talk, “The Journey Out of the Shadows,” knowing my mind was about to expand exponentially. I clicked play and settled in for sixteen minutes of a lifetime of wisdom.

I could have stopped the video four minutes in and simply taken this as my learning:

“… even though we pretend to be what we’re not, in order to fit in and belong, we can’t ever really be what we’re not; it’s an illusion.”

~Julie Daley

The idea that we can’t ever be what we’re not. That what we’re not is an illusion. That we do this to ourselves. How often have you, I, any of us pretended to be what we’re not? I shudder, I cringe at that realization that I do this on a daily basis, even in all my trying not to. In the end, we all want to fit in, we all want people to like us (for who we are), and yet we just can’t seem to help ourselves in trying to be who and what someone else sees as likable.

No one is perfect, and even though we learn this over and over and over again, we still struggle with being ourselves—our true selves, our authentic selves—100% of the time.

What is that? I wonder, too.

And then …

“The world is a blank canvas. Everything that we follow are beliefs that people have made up. Who says it should be this way? Who says this is reality?”

~Julie Daley

We all create our own reality, whether we realize it or not. Our realities are the results of the actions we choose, not the circumstances we find ourselves in. If we look at every moment as a blank canvas, then we get to decide exactly how to paint it, and with what. We choose our rose colored glasses, our heavy rain coats, our thick black or bright yellow paints. We choose our walls of defense, our sleeves of open hearts, our bands of brothers and sisters. We choose to be defeated, to turn the other cheek, to put one foot in front of the other.

These choices may not always change our circumstances, but they will change how we view our circumstances. Which ultimately changes everything.

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

~ Wayne Dyer

I know that there are places in the world where my American way of life and liberty and the pursuit of (some idea of) happiness (I hope it’s my own, but…) are not as simple to go about as these words on a page make it seem. And still, the only way to create change is to put one foot in front of the other, as Julie so beautifully demonstrates in her talk.

I implore you to go watch it and share your thoughts. With me, with her, with anyone and everyone. This is a conversation that needs to step out of the shadows and continue in the light.

Julie Daley - The Journey: Out of the shadows and into the liht

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Stages of Grief and Coming Out [Dian Reid] Authentic Realities
May.17.2013 at 10.09 am


Julie Daley May.7.2013 at 12.28 pm

Thank you for this beautiful expression of how the talk opened you. No, it’s not as simple as words on a page. Ha! Far from it, and yet when we walk those steps together, we learn from each other, and we remember our connection as women. Such a beautiful connection.

Dian Reid, CPCC May.8.2013 at 8.07 am

Thank you, Julie. There are so many wonderful pieces of the conversation to be had … I’m still taking in the cherry tree piece … oh the lovely, exquisite cherry tree!

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