Choosing the Dance

by Dian Reid-Jancic· Follow Dian on

Sleep was not kind to me last night, nor has it been for a good couple of months. I can choose to let this floor me, or I can choose to use it as a stepping stone to move through my day. Some days it feels like I don’t have this choice, and so I dance accordingly. Today’s dance includes gently soothing the urge to get back in bed, and telling her another day will have to do.

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Choosing the Dance

It’s an important moment to realize that every decision we make is just that: a decision. When we make a decision, we’re choosing one of at least two options from which to create reality. Today I narrowed down my options to: a) get back in bed and be warm, napping with my puppy until I felt better rested; b) meander around in my world of social networking and wait for something to spark me into movement; c) sit in three minutes of silence and move forward from there.

Option A. While warm and toasty and puppy filled, the bed offers me only comfort on the surface. I’ll be warm and perhaps better rested if I sleep for another couple of hours, yes, but I don’t feel connected to the sleep. I know the days where I feel so much unrest that sleep is the only thing that will nurture my soul. Today is not one of those days. Today, sleep would be my enabler, coaxing me into the idea that ignoring life will somehow make it go away. Today, sleep would not nurture, but hinder me. And so I say, softly, gently to myself: Let’s just be awake and see what happens.

Option B. I’m usually curious about what’s going on in the world of others. I find inspiration often in the posts of  Julie Daley and Square Peg Karen and Angela Kelsey, among others. I love the humor, the intellect, the generosity, the depth of these women, and find that when I put myself in their energetic sphere, I often walk away a better person. The thing about today, though … meandering outside myself seems more like avoiding my inside self. More like believing that I do not have inspiration within. More like believing in others more than I believe in myself. I enjoy the connection with these amazing women, and yet today I seem to need connection with another amazing woman. And so I say, softly, gently to myself: Let’s have a look in the mirror and see who shows up.

Option C. It might seem that this is my last option, and so I must take it. I suppose that could be true. Except that it’s not. There are always more options, more choices, more freedoms if we’re willing to look deep enough for them. Today that’s not necessary. Today, three minutes of silence has me curious about what’s happing in my own world. Not the world around me, but my inner world, the one I keep to myself. I see frustrations and fears. I see curiosity and wonderment. I see love and kindness. I see a willingness to explore. I see belief stirring in me, from the inside out. Yes, my choice this morning is clear. And so I say, softly, gently to myself: Let’s be silent for a few minutes and be.

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Silence and the Aftermath

No focus, no goal, no process. Just silence.

This morning as I practiced my three minutes of silence I was again struck by how quickly three minutes passes. Even within the confines of three quick minutes, I had time to ponder birds chirping, cawing as the flew over the sea; notice the fizzle of the foam on sand as the waves faded back into the ocean after crashing on the shore; feel the spray of fresh air trickle into my pores; contemplate the power of fantasy within reality; and plan out this blog post—which looks nothing like what I laid out in my head.

The choosing is not always as easy as it was this morning, and for that I am grateful. I’d like to believe I honor the struggle as much as I appreciate the silence.

  • Brittney

    I love this line: “Today, sleep would be my enabler, coaxing me into the idea that ignoring life will somehow make it go away.” I can definitely relate to that today. Your words leave a lingering sense of quiet contemplation.

  • Dian,
    As usual, so much in this post resonates for me. And I’m honored to be in the beautiful company of Julie and Karen in option “B.” I’m grateful that you looked inside, for option “C,” connecting to your inner beautiful company. Your honesty about the struggle always inspires me–
    Angela

  • What a breath of fresh air this post is (yeah, i know that’s cliche – but it felt to me like ocean breezes just blowing some fuzz out of my head – a breath of fresh air, see? not cliche – lol). Thanks for this reminder about our choices — the beauty of our choices – so wonderful.

    And Dian – ditto what Angela said – I’m so honored to be counted with those wonderful women – Julie, Angela and YOU! Muah! Love the line Brittney pointed out too – very poetic!

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