Loss of Tooth, Not Wisdom

by Dian Reid-Jancic· Follow Dian on

Today I lose a tooth for the first time in more than 25 years. It is a wisdom tooth, and I know this doesn’t mean I lose any wisdom. At least, I hope it doesn’t.

I woke up at 5am this morning to have breakfast since they ask you to show up for surgery with an empty stomach. That means no food for 8 hours prior to my appointment time.

Without food I’m noticing it’s more difficult to meditate. More difficult to think straight. More difficult to read a sentence, let alone structure a coherent one for you to read here. I look at the clock an notice it’s 8:30AM as I sit here, with my laptop in its meant-for place, a snoring dog on one side of me and a cat nestled up on the couch back behind my neck. I notice it’s been just over three hours. Since my egg, wheat muffin, and short glass of water this morning. It’s not as if I’ve never gone three hours without eating before, but today it seems like a hardship.

Today I feel a little weak on the inside. Today I feel like my strength is an illusion. Today, I feel unwhole.

My mind knows all these things to be untrue, and still I question my self and my sanity this morning over an empty stomach and a house full of sleeping animals. All over the fear of what will come 90 minutes past noon.

I think to my own advice, from the wisdom of so many. The future is not yet here. I remember that it’s paralyzing to put myself in a space that does not yet exist. The present is the only space I can move forward from, and so it is.

What’s right here and now is that I’m surrounded by love and things to do. Things that have nothing to do with structuring coherent sentences for any of you. Maybe that will come tomorrow, but I refuse to paralyze myself by worrying about it today.

Today I will read my Oprah Magazine. Today I will re-read a note to myself. Today I will play on Twitter. Today I will re-read a letter to my weakness from my strength. Today I will be Mindful of taking care of my self. Today I will nurture my soul, my self, my being.

Today, how will you take care of your self?

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post:

© Authentic Realities 2009-2019 (All content unless otherwise noted). All Rights Reserved.