Habit: Day 16

by Dian Reid-Jancic· Follow Dian on

motomanOhm. I’ve been posting less during this 21-day adventure of meditation than I did in my 21-day adventure into fearlessness. Is it because there’s less to learn? Less to write about? Less to say? No. Maybe. Hmmm.

Less to learn.

Not a chance. In the words of Karen Carpenter, “We’ve only just begun.” Yes, I do mean “we.” Me and me. There’s a me in here I never knew existed. A me with powers, a me with dreams, a me with accomplishments. Maybe I knew I had dreams, but I didn’t know that they affected my powers and accomplishments. Maybe I knew I had powers, but I thought they were much smaller than what I’m seeing inside myself lately. An maybe I even knew I had accomplishments. But I rarely acknowledge them to myself.

Less to write about.

It’s less that I have less to write about and more that I’m spending time in reflection. Reflection of myself and my dreams and powers and accomplishments. I’ve grown so much in recent years, and it’s easy to forget how far I’ve come. And that’s not about gloating or building up my ego, it’s about quietly honoring that growth. It’s for me to honor, not for the world to pat me on my back about it. I haven’t grown for anyone but myself, and so I deserve to acknowledge that growth. I deserve to own those accomplishments. I deserve to honor my dreams and move forward. And still, that scares the crap out of me.

Less to say.

And in the words of Seinfeld: “Not bloody likely.” In fact, there’s so much more to say. I find that if I just get up and meditate, I have a hard time with my focus. But if I get up and say some affirmations to myself (or even out loud, if it’s just the animals and I in the house), I seem to be able to focus easier. I get into a meditative state much quicker, and I don’t have to try.

I have a series of affirmations that I say daily. Sometimes I glance at them when the reminder pops up on my Blackberry, sometimes I read through them once, and sometimes I read each affirmation 5 times. It’s the 5-times mornings that bring me my meditation bliss.

The first time, I’m just reading words on a screen. The second time, I slow it down and actually see the words. The third time, I begin to believe the words. The fourth time, I slow it down almost to a crawl, and by the fifth time I’ve read those affirmations, I not only believe them, but I’m ready to own them.

My dreams become my accomplishments. My dreamed accomplishments become my reality. My reality becomes my power.

But maybe there is less to say here. Reading affirmations, meditating, dreaming, being…it seems there’s so much more to do rather than just to talk.

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