21 Days of Fearless: Day 21

by Dian Reid-Jancic· Follow Dian on

As I look back over the past 3 weeks, I see a changed (and changing) woman. But isn’t that who we all are, anyway? We change when we look our fears in the face and make a decision to either roll forward with full steam or stand back and let the fear take us over. We change when we avoid eye contact with our fear, and allow it to direct the paths we follow, being carried by its tides, ebbs and flows. We change when we do nothing, we change when we do something; but only in one of those realms do we have any control over how we change.

The beginning of my journey into fearlessness held a few ideas about what being fearless was: pretending to jump out of a plane, eating outside my comfort zone, being a tourist in my own back yard. But what did I really accomplish?


My friend, Lisa Mae, who got me started on this kick of fearlessness had a much different journey than I did. Of course she would, we’re two different people. But she started her journey with a purpose, and I began mine on a whim. Before she committed to her 21 Days of Fearless, she sat down and journaled about what she hoped to accomplish. I was simply inspired by her, and dove head first into my own fire of fears.

What worked about my approach for me was diving in. That’s how I roll. When I make up my mind to do something, I do it. I am committed until I finish or until I find a good enough reason to no longer be committed. But by the end of my 21 Days of Fearless, I found that it wasn’t being fearless that I was committed to, it was me.

I became committed to looking deeper into myself, into my soul, into my being. I became committed to knowing myself better and exploring the things I like and dislike. I became committed to being uncomfortable, if it meant I would learn about myself. I actually became committed to being myself. What a notion!

People often tell you that you can’t be anyone but you, but how often do we try to be someone other than who we are? How often to we try to mimic the lives of those around us we know, love, and look up to? How often do we dream of having a life like [insert famous person here]? What I found in my 21 Days was that there’s nothing wrong with having dreams, nothing wrong with being inspired by people, but in the end, it’s up to me to add ME to the equation. It’s true…I can’t be anyone but me. But I CAN be a better me. And 21 Days later, I am a better me.

Better not in the sense of “I’m better than you,” just better than who I used to be. I’m better at knowing when I need time to myself. I’m better at knowing how I react to difficult situations when I haven’t had enough to eat. I’m better at knowing the difference between my fears and my discomforts. I’m better at seeing the good in me. I’m better at looking at myself in search of the things I want to change. And when I find those things, I’m better at not passing judgment on myself, but taking steps to make the changes I want to see in myself. I’m better and being kind and gentle with myself. I’m better at disarming my Gremlins. I’m better at being committed to me. All in all, I’m better at being me.

Maybe you think that there are people out there who have it all together. Maybe there are. I venture to say that if there are, it’s because those people are constantly changing. They are looking to change, allowing the change, and then being the change. They are constantly looking into themselves to see who they are and how they can be better. On Day 1 of this campaign, I called this “Fearless.”

Today, I call it “Authentic.”

21 Days of Fearless is making its way into a workshop. To learn more about the workshop and how you can get involved, go here.

Lock/Freedom photo credit: /dazzied/ via Flickr

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September.27.2009 at 7.25 pm
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