21 Days of Fearless: Day 15

by Dian Reid-Jancic· Follow Dian on

On day 2 of my journey into fearlessness, I contacted my good friend, and founder of Because I Love You, Dennis Poncher about the possibilities in reconnecting with his amazing organization. When I got a call from David, the coordinator of Youth Programs, today, I realized I hadn’t much thought about the fact that no one had gotten back to me until now.

In the long-lost past, I might have brooded. I might have steamed. Stewed. Gone crazy in my head over what must have been the matter with them for not contacting me yet. Then I would have wondered if I’d said or done something to upset them. I’d have wracked my brain remembering phone calls and conversations, I’d have reread emails and messages, scoured through FaceBook pages to see if there was something going on that I was missing. Somehow during the past couple of weeks, I didn’t do that.

It seems to me this fearless thing is like a virus in my mind. Only, a virus I hope I never get rid of, and that everyone around me catches. I’m finding that I don’t care why people aren’t contacting me. No, that’s not it. It’s not that I don’t care. It’s not even that I don’t notice they haven’t called; it’s that I’m trusting the Universe like I say I do.

It’s so easy to put something out into the Universe and say, “I trust that the Universe will bring me just what I asked for, even if it comes in a different package.” It’s a whole other ballgame to live it. When I noticed that a few days had passed since Dennis responded to me that he would have David contact me, it ended with just that. Noticing that a few days had passed. I didn’t attempt to assess why David had not contacted me, I simply acknowledged the fact and let it go. This was new. While it was long-lost for me to brood or steam or stew over it, it had become normal for me to have some self-talk about these types of situations.

“It’s okay that he hasn’t contacted you, he probably got caught up with something and he’ll contact you soon. Just trust the Universe.” “It’s okay that he hasn’t contacted you, it’s probably not the right time, anyway. Just trust the Universe.” “It’s okay that he hasn’t contacted you, it was a stupid idea anyway…” Oh wait–this was supposed to be positive self-talk! And then I’d have to start the self-talk all over again.

What seems to be happening now is just the trust. There doesn’t need to be a reason he hasn’t called yet, it’s just what is. I don’t have to remind myself to trust the Universe, I just do. Somehow this fearlessness campaign I’ve embarked upon has triggered an area of self-care in my body, my soul, that completely disengages my ego. And when my ego isn’t in charge of my actions and reactions, I’m able to trust myself much easier. I worry so much less about everyone else’s thoughts and actions, and focus so much more on myself and what’s important. Aside from getting used to all of this, it seems to be an easier way to live.

Some good things are in the works with the BILY Organization, and I’m excited about the prospect of working with the group again. Nothing is set in stone, we’ve only just begun to talk about the possibilities, and I won’t find out for a few days what will come of my conversation with David today. And even if I don’t hear from him for a few weeks, I trust that all will be well. I’ll simply create from what is, rather than what could be or might be or should be. The Universe will take care of the rest.

Universe photo credit: larvalsubjects

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