21 Days of Fearless: Day 2

by Dian Reid-Jancic· Follow Dian on

As I’m going through this challenge of 21 Days of Fearless, I’m really digging in and looking for areas I can where grow, and the fears that are keeping me from growing there. When I was a kid, I didn’t always make the right decisions. In fact, any decision I made without consulting my parents seemed to be a wrong decision. Part of that was the truth, and part of it was inevitable. Teenagers are unruly, according to parents, and parents just don’t understand, according to teenagers. Until my father found Because I Love You, The Parent Support Group, that was the story of my life. So how does this lead me to fearlessness?

Today I sent the founder (and good friend of mine), Dennis Poncher, an email to let him know I’d like to give back to BILY, Too, The Youth Support Group. As for why I feel the need to give back, the full story is too long for this post, so I’ll give you the abridged version.

I started hanging out with “the wrong crowd” in 7th grade and by 9th grade, I’d been kicked out of two junior high schools and two high schools, and been arrested four times for thefts and possession of drugs. I ran away multiple times, the last for 6 weeks. When I was thirteen my father went to BILY for support, and sent me to BILY, Too for my own support. While I didn’t use the group to its full intention while I attended, a bond was created with the group members and leaders; I trusted them because they didn’t lie to me, they didn’t hurt me, and they weren’t my parents; they understood me. I was able to lean on that bond at the end of my 6 week stint of running away when I realized that I no longer wanted the life of a runaway child. Fear kept me from contacting my parents; trust led me to contact my group leader at BILY, Too. Adam picked me up on the corner of Roscoe and Reseda Blvd, and acted as the buffer between my parents and I when we reunited. I won’t say that everything was peachy from then on out, but it was much better than it would have been had I gone through it alone. That was the real beginning of the necessary repairs on the relationship between my father and I before he would die of cancer 16 years later.

Since graduating from CTI in June, I’ve thought about contacting Dennis a hundred times about running a workshop with the BILY youth. Every time I thought about it, I pictured that lost teenager, running around the streets of the San Fernando Valley, who’d done everything she could to scream out, “I NEED HELP!” and ran away when her parents just didn’t understand her. The thing about that though…it’s been a long time since I was that lost teenager. I’ve done a lot of growing and growing up since then. I am a mature woman with a strong sense of myself and everything I have to offer. I know, like I know, like I KNOW that I can give kids some real life tools so that they don’t have to go through some of the things I went through.

When I sat down to write the email to Dennis this afternoon, I didn’t forget about that teenage girl from nearly 20 years ago; I just didn’t let her write the email. Within myself, I addressed the fears of “I’m not good enough or smart enough to run those workshops” and reminded myself of all the growth I’ve had over the last 20 years. I had butterflies when I clicked SEND, but they weren’t dark butterflies of fear, they were bright butterflies of excitement.

{ 2 trackbacks }

21 Days of Fearless: Day 6
September.3.2009 at 12.48 pm
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September.11.2009 at 2.34 pm

{ 1 comment }

Karen Pery September.13.2009 at 12.06 pm

sitting here in stunned awe. It’s going to be an amazing workshop, I can already tell.

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