By: Lisa Bernson

Lisa Bernson — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 04:54:08 +0000

Dian,
I came across your website thru connections on facebook and I too am a believer “that everything happens for a reason”. I read many of your blog entries and so much rang true for me and where I am in my life. So I am not a writer but I will just put it all out there because I am very interested in your services. The last year and a half have been anything but comfortable but I am slowly finding out that healing is happening. I am an addict in recovery but it has been a long road… lot’s of shame, guilt, self hating. I have been single for a year and a half for the first time in my adult life. I have been working thru childhood sexual abuse and dealing with my addiction. I have a great group of friends and an amazing Family which has helped tremendously. I have never been so raw, vulnerable and just feeling everything for the first time. I learned at a very early age (6) that it was “my job” to take care of and protect my younger sister based on threats from my abusers. I remember leaving myself at 6 and just knowing I had to protect my younger sister. Caretaking is what I have always known but I never learned to take care of myself. Throughout my childhood and into college sports was always my outlet (thankfully). I would hit the tennis ball against our garage for hours at a time it was my only outlet because I couldn’t say anything. After college I continued with tennis and coached volleyball along with my full time job… but I also found alcohol and my favorite.. prescription pain meds after a couple of back surgeries. They killed that emotional pain that I felt I just couldn’t face. So after many years of using off and on and being in relationships because then I could focus on someone else besides myself… or keeping myself so busy so I didn’t have to feel. Here I am over the last several months feeling naked, raw and scared. Some nights curled up in a ball crying for hours wondering if I will ever feel better. Through all this I have come to trust in something much bigger than me and just laying it all out there. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin… and some days it fits better than others. I am very grateful for my life and the wonderful gifts in my life. So taking away the drugs, being single and slowing down I am forced to be with myself. I am not going to lie it has been a struggle to be with me. But I do believe I am on the right path and I trust a higher power. So there you have it Dian do you think you can help a lost soul like me? I appreciate you taking the time to read this… I do hope it makes some sort of sense….. Signed, Hopeful.

Comments on: Getting Started

By: Lisa Bernson